The Daily Star, perhaps the most prestigious of London's newspapers, has announced details of a Beatles reunion gig:
It says that Paul and Ringo will perform next August at the Hollywood Bowl, on the forty-seven-years-and-four-days anniversary of the Beatles' first appearance at the venue. They will be accompanied on stage by digital images of John Lennon and George Harrison.
I can exclusively reveal more details of this exciting event. To complete the nostalgic authenticity of the occasion, a hologram of Beatles manager Brian Epstein will be beamed to the side of the stage while the physical/digital reunion takes place. Bob Dylan will be backstage, providing commemorative sticks of marijuana. Jane Asher has already agreed to accompany Paul McCartney to the venue, while original Beatles drummer Pete Best will be locked outside the Bowl for the duration of the concert.
To bring together the old and new line-ups of the Beatles, Paul and Ringo will welcome two special guests: Olivia Harrison and Yoko Ono. Yoko is already rehearsing for her portion of the show, inside a white bag. "Mmmfmff mffmmff mmmff", she told me earlier today . The two men, two women and two digital images will perform a poignant rendition of 'Two Of Us', with orchestral arrangement conducted from his prison cell by Phil Spector.
The concert will be broadcast around the world on pay-through-the-nose-per-view TV, while Apple Corps and Apple Computers will be suing each other for the rights to issue the soundtrack album on vinyl and reel-to-reel tape.
See you there.